Stranger

I created this blog as a requirement for a class. I honestly forget I had it until I went to post on a friend's blog and remembered I had a login for posting comments. I find it ironic that 6 months after creating a blog entitled "Permanent Fifth Grader" I transferred up to middle school. I guess I'll have to work on changing my title or maybe just live in the irony. It is a suitable title for me though. Despite working in 8th grade I have the mentality of a 5th grader. God knows I have the sense of humor of one.
I think the title also suits the lifestyle I've been living these days. I've come to realize I don't have much of a life at all. This feeling manifested itself in a dream I had last night. I couldn't seem to figure out where I fit in. I wandered around a room full of people and couldn't find a way to connect with them. I wound up sitting alone on the wall bored. Lately this is how I've been living. I've neglected a social life and have been pouring myself into my work and my students' lives because it makes me feel fulfilled to be working toward something bigger than myself; the enrichment of young lives. While I do feel that is true, I think the real reason I feel so fulfilled is that when I'm working I have a purpose. I feel needed and useful. Isn't that what we all want? So it stands to reason is my choice of teaching and self-inflicted poverty really a noble choice filled with sacrifice or is it in fact a completely selfish decision based on my own prideful needs for validation and respect?

Blogs

So I took some time today and wandered around the blogger world. I discovered the button that sends you to the "next blog." I guess this randomly pulls up any ol' bloggers page. First it sent me to some pretentious girl in LA who likes to write a sentence a day and post as many pictures as she can find of a particular celebrity. Yesterday was Rachel Bilson. Today was the elusive, perfect navy dress.
From there, I was sent wizzing through cyberspace only to land on a page the appeared to about a church. I'm not sure if it was a church because the whole blog was in a language of Scandanavian origin.
From there, a photo gallery by someone whose comments were all in Spanish.
From there, an odd site entirely devoted mermaid worship, complete with uncomfortably provocative pictures.
Finally, I decided I had gone too far when I was sent to a dark and disturbing site with indiscernible chicken-scratch fonts.
This journey rose some questions in my mind. Why is all of this freedom necessary? Why can't these people just decorate their apartments with their bizarre interests and leave it alone? Why is it such a wonderful new world that people with outrageous interests have a way to publish them for all to be exposed to? Furthermore, how many issues does this raise that we could potentially be encouraging our students to wander this world?
I'm all for free speech and I firmly believe we have the right to our beliefs. However, I also believe impressionable children have a right to be protected and limited to the beliefs of their families and communities until they are mature enough to make reasonable choices for themselves.

Professional Development

Another day wasted.
Granted, I don't claim to be know everything about teaching. That couldn't be further from the truth. As most of you would probably agree from your own experience, there's something new everyday. Which begs the questions, why are these in-services always the same material? I sat through 4 and a half hours today of review from every undergrad courses I ever took. I know what my challenges are as a teacher. I know what diversity in a classroom means. I know that boys and girls learn differently and I know that everyday we are seeing more and more students with disabilities or students who are at-risk in general ed classes. Take me to the next level; what can I do with that? How can I help them? How can I manage those issues in my classroom? If you can't make me a better educator with these sessions, please don't waste my time by telling me things I can see looking around any average American school.
...sorry, I just needed that little moment.
I deeply appreciate the efforts of our administrators in putting these days together and I appreciate the time the presenters take to be there. It's just frustrating that they don't seem to understand what our needs are before they plan these sessions.

Social Bookmarking

I haven't yet integrated this new tool into my classroom, but I have definitely integrated it into my life. The true mark or actually integrating something into your daily routine? You value it so much that you sing its praises to your colleagues.
If you have not yet discovered social bookmarking, here's what you need to know. Sites like del.icio.us have changed the way we save information online. In the past, when you bookmarked a page, or saved it to favorites, it was stored to your hard drive and you were limited to finding it again only if you were on the same machine where you saved it. This fantastic new innovation is like an online storage yard where you can save websites that you'd like to visit again. For example, if I find a site on my home computer that has an activity I'd like to use on our interactive whiteboard, I can mark that page. Then, when I am standing in front of my class with the school laptop plugged in to the board, I can pull up my delicious and there's the site I saved yesterday.
Oh, but that's just the beginning. The SOCIAL aspect kicks in to make this an immensely useful tool. My bookmarked pages are available for the public to view, including my students, my colleagues, and total strangers searching for say...whiteboard activities relating to the original 13 colonies. Because I have tagged the site with relevant labels, people can find my bookmarks topically. In turn, I can easily find sites that may be useful to me by searching other people's bookmarks. What's exciting is, I'm not sending out a broad search of the internet via Google that could bring up anything. I'm searching sites that other people have found useful and interesting, saving me loads of time.
Again, if you have not yet indulged in this time-saving, convenience...what are you waiting for!

Students Blogging

I received several comments on my students' blog. There are three students in particular who are really embracing the concept. Like I said, they have filled the page with elements like a slide show and a poll. They also used it quite a bit on the snow day to communicate fundraising achievements. I think it helps that the blog is a tool toward something they are already excited about; their club. I don't know if I would be getting the same amount of enthusiasm from classroom work. However, this is an excellent foot in the door. Now when I do use it for classroom activities there will be a handful of students who can get the others excited. I'm thankful that I found a found a way to sneak it into their lives like this and I'm looking forward to a novel project we'll be doing in a few weeks to introduce it to the entire class.

Raising The Bar

I think sometimes I sell my students short. This year I have a group of students who literally beg for challenges. (They are not your average 10 year olds.) I think I tend to hold back in what I give them because I feel like they can't handle it. You know how sometimes you do an activity and it doesn't go well because students ask a lot of questions or misbehave the entire time? We tend to think, "that was too much for them," and proceed to simplify.
Every once in a while I realize that it wasn't them, it was me. They asked questions because my expectations weren't clear or they goofed around because they were bored!
I had one of those surprising experiences again today. I set my students who have this club up with a blog to communication with each other. I immediately figured it would intimidate them and they wouldn't use it. Right away they proved me wrong and were posting like crazy the first two days. I read the posts and saw them conversing about posting pictures. I posted a quick note about one way to post a picture and finished my post with, "I'll help you with it at school tomorrow." Next thing I know, they've not only figured out pictures, but links, slide shows, polls, and just about every other page element.
It just reminded me that I need to be giving these young people more credit and responsibility and give them occasions to rise to.

Victory!

We're into this class for a week and I've already found a use in my classroom. I have a small group of students who've gathered together to form a community service club. (10 year olds put this together themselves!) They meet in my classroom at lunch on Fridays and today I was updating our class website while they were meeting. One of them said, "we should have a website!" I immediately set them up with a blog. They all have access to posting on it so they can respond easily to each other with just one account. I set it up to be private to anyone who isn't heading to it on purpose. Sure they won't be using it quite for its intended purpose. Maybe a wiki would be more practical? Unfortunately, I haven't played with those yet. They were pretty content and excited with this.
Just thought I'd share.

Sage on the Street

Admit it. You can spot a fellow teacher a mile away. There is something about a teacher's persona that gives us away. What is that quirk that seems to tie us all together? Is it the modest, comfortable clothing and sensible shoes? Is it the exception grammar? Or maybe it's the perpetually exhausted look in our eyes? All are probably true but I'm getting at something much deeper.
I'm talking about "The Big Desk" factor. No matter how noble and caring we are (and we are noble and caring individuals to be sure) we all share a tendency toward control freak-ism. We can't really help it. Even if you go into teaching as an incredibly laid-back, selfless individual, all that time being the one with all the answers, the one making the decisions, and the one who's seen it before and knows what will work best; it gets to us. Not to mention the fact that we spend most of the day as the tallest one in the room! Eventually, it gets under our skin and we have a hard time giving up control in situations outside of the classroom. Have you ever found yourself correcting another adult? How about telling someone who is an expect on something about the subject in which they are an expert? Maybe you've told a spouse the best route to take while driving or the "correct" method for doing something around the house? Whether you want to admit it or not, if you've been teaching more than a year or two, I guarantee you're guilty of it. Maybe your loved ones love you too much to call you on it, but I challenge you to watch yourself.
A friend of mine, Darci, works at a pet shop specializing in fish. Her parents own it and she's worked there since childhood. In her early twenties, she was extremely knowledgeable when it came to marine life and aquariums. One day she was complaining to me about a customer she had seen that day. Darci said she could tell this woman was a teacher and I asked how. She explained that the woman had challenged her every step of the sale. This woman proceeded to explain why neon tetras glow to Darci and defied her advice about tank care because the tank in her classroom never had those problems. My fish-loving friend begged me never to become that woman.
Most of the world respects what we do. Most admire it as something they themselves couldn't do. However, there is a percentage of the world that recognizes us by this characteristic. This condescending, know-it-all who has a hard time sharing the stage. It's been about seven years since Darci told me about that woman and shared her perception of teachers with me. Unfortunately, the further I've gotten into my career, the more solidified her point is in my mind; not by anything others have done, but by my own tendencies toward taking a dominant position. I feel it in my own life at times...Darci was right.
I am thankful for those few strong mentors in my life that maybe have those same tendencies but somehow, they manage to demonstrate a humble wisdom with their daily lives. I suppose one way to overcome that obnoxious, arrogant attitude is by constant reflection and awareness. The best way is probably to stop and remember that there is One who really does know all and it I am not Him. I guess that's really all it takes to stay humble...although spilling half of my morning coffee on my sweater helps too.

I Hope I'm Smarter Than a Fifth Grader

Sometimes I'm not so sure. Just when I feel confident in my teaching abilities, something new comes along and reminds just how much I have to learn. I'm starting to understand what all those experienced teachers were telling me when I first started teaching. "You never really figure it all out." or "I've been doing this for ___ years and it still surprises me." This year is my fourth year re-living the fifth grade and yes, most of the time I feel completely confident. Then there are those times when I swear I just set foot in the classroom for the first time yesterday.
Where are these insights about experience and lack thereof coming from? My first two graduate courses left me feeling pretty confident that I know what I'm doing when it comes to technology. I am able to imagine activities and then sit down and accomplish them; at home and school. A lack of understanding has never held me back from a computer. My policy for learning technology has always been if I need to know it, I'll figure it out by messing around with it and using logic to work through it. If I can't figure it out, I can live without it. Friday night I was pushed into a state of utter disequilibrium for the first time in probably four years. (Well done Dr. Merrill!) I had no idea there was so much more that I had been missing in the world of communication tech. Yeah, I use Facebook and Myspace to stay connected to friends. I knew about blogging but never felt like I had much to say. (Obviously that was a mistake.) I keep all my grades online and I teach a wide variety of interactive lessons on our Activboard. I even have a class website that I update daily with announcements, homework, and uploads. But a Wiki? Social Bookmarking? CSS??? So much farther to go.
Keep watching my blog as I muddle my way through the world of telecommunications in education over the next four weeks. Hopefully, as I think out loud through this avenue, we can all learn something...fifth graders included.